Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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