i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
