i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
