if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
