And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I faked an abortion last night.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
