True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
