i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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