so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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