I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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