What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
