I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
