Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
