Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
