you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
