hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
