did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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