How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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