She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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