remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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