at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
