I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
