If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
