I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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