I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just found puke in my bra..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Are we still banned from the library?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
