Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
