So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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