he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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