I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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