Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
