You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
