pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
