My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
