Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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