Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
