break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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