Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think my moral compass just broke
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
