We won't sleep together?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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