We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
