If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I need to stop coming to work sober
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
