the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
