I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
