drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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