the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
wow bdsm is so cute
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
