Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
