Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
