i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
