I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
