Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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