i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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