All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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