are you so shy because you have an std?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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