Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
