Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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