Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
