I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
