im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
